Kent · England
Funeral and wake catering in Five Wents, Kent
Funeral and wake catering in Five Wents: cod, haddock and chips fried to order, then handed over hot from the hatch at the time you choose.
- Celebrations of life
- Pub wakes
- A favourite meal in someone’s memory
Book the van in Five Wents
Funeral and wake catering for your wake in Five Wents
Food is fried to order, so it’s hot when people arrive. We serve haddock and chips, sausage and chips and cod and chips, and we are often booked for small family memorials and family gatherings after a burial or cremation.
In rural Five Wents, home or the hall is usual. We cook inside the van, right where your guests are, and the food reaches them hot and crisp.
About the food
Cod and chips
Cod is the classic: mild, white and flaky, and it is what most people in the south ask for. It is battered and fried to order.
Pie and chips
A pie and chips is proper comfort food, and it is a favourite in colder months.
Wakes in Five Wents: venues and practical details
Five Wents is about 4 miles south-east of Maidstone, in Kent. In and around Five Wents, the van can serve from a drive, a yard, a car park or a firm field, close to your guests. We cover all 922 towns and villages across Kent, from the larger towns to small villages. You can also see our page for Canterbury, about 22 miles away.
If relatives are coming by rail, Hollingbourne station is about 3 miles away. Five Wents is within about 4 miles of the Kent Downs National Landscape, and rural venues there may have narrow lanes, so tell us about access.
Wakes anywhere in ME17 start with a parking spot for the van and roughly how many guests. From Leeds Road and Sutton Road or a nearby road, we will bring the van to you. Other places close to Five Wents we cover include Warmlake (1 mile south), Langley Heath (1 mile north-east), Langley (1 mile north-west), Chart Sutton (1 mile west) and Sutton Valence (1 mile south). Larger places within reach include Maidstone (4 miles north-west), Ashford (13 miles south-east), Sittingbourne (10 miles north-east), Royal Tunbridge Wells (15 miles south-west), Tonbridge (14 miles west) and Faversham (14 miles north-east).
Well-known places in the area include KIMS hospital (4.2 miles north) and Sutton Valence Castle (1.2 miles south). Open spaces near Five Wents include Detling Hill.
- Nearby, you’ll find The Plough Inn (less than half a mile west)
Who books funeral and wake catering in Five Wents?
There is no kitchen work for anyone.
A fish and chip van suits almost any gathering. In Five Wents, people book us for occasions like:
- Remembrance gatherings
- A wake at the family home
- Gatherings after the committal
- A tribute meal
Families holding a service at Church of St Mary frequently gather afterwards at a nearby hall, where the van can park.
Comparing caterers
- Any minimum charge
- What happens if plans change
- What the price includes, item by item
- How late numbers can change
For planners, venues and organisers
Many venues set rules for catering vans: where a van can park, access times and the paperwork they want. Tell us what your venue needs and we’ll confirm what we can provide.
If you’re booking for a business, tell us how you’d like to handle the booking and payment, and we will talk you through the process. We can work with your facilities team on access and timings.
Cannot we just order from the chip shop?
Ordering in from a local chip shop is an option. The problem is timing: big orders take a long time, and the food is cooling while it travels. A van cooks in front of your guests instead.
Ordering from a local shop? Call ahead and collect at the last minute. For a crowd, a van is usually simpler.
Is a fish and chip van right for your wake?
Next to a buffet, a van gives everyone a hot meal, which helps when numbers are hard to predict. The price depends on numbers, the menu and how long we serve, plus travel and access. Every booking gets its own quote.
Why us?
- Quick service from the hatch
- Everything cooked to order at your event
- We cook inside the van, whatever the weather
- A menu almost everyone likes
Take a look at our pricing and the cost guide.
What the van needs
A good parking spot makes the whole thing easier. We need:
- A level, firm spot the van can drive onto
- A spot near your guests
- Access wide and high enough for the van
If you are unsure, send a photo of the space and the way in, and we will say what we think before booking.
From the hatch
- Gravy
- Pie and chips
- Mushy peas
- Sausage and chips
- Cod and chips
- Haddock and chips
Also near Five Wents
Other occasions in Five Wents
What happens on the day
Expect a friendly, organised set-up. We agree arrival and serving times in advance, park on the agreed spot, and get on with frying and serving. Late-December sunset in Five Wents is about 3:50pm, so for an afternoon wake, light near the van and the door helps. Summer wakes have daylight well into the evening.
- We start with a few details about your wake.
- We check the date and where the van will park, then send a quote.
- Timings and the van’s spot are agreed in advance.
- We cook to order on the day for family and friends.
- Everything goes out hot from the hatch, and we pack up afterwards.
Preparing for the day
- Give us your final numbers and allergies
- Share the timings for the day
- Let us know who to talk to on the day
Ask for a quote
Every quote is worked out for your event. Start with your date, and we’ll confirm whether we are available that day.
Planning help
Common questions in Five Wents
Is Five Wents close to London?
About 35 miles from central London, and well within our area.
We are gathering after a service at Church of St Mary: can you come?
Yes, at a nearby hall, home or venue with somewhere for the van. Food is normally served at the reception venue rather than the church. Tell us where you’ll gather.
What if we do not know numbers?
Give us your best estimate, and we will plan with a little extra.
Can you cater for allergies?
Let us know about allergies in advance, and we’ll tell you what’s in each item.
Can the van come to Five Wents?
We do. Five Wents is one of the places we cover. Send us your date to check availability.
Is grass a problem?
Usually, if it’s firm and dry. Soft, wet ground can trap any vehicle, so have a hard-surface back-up.
How long will the queue be?
It depends on numbers, the menu and how people arrive. Tell us your numbers and how long you have for food, and we will plan to keep the queue moving.
What does it cost to hire the van?
We quote for each booking, based on your numbers and timings. Tell us your date and rough numbers and we will reply with a price.
Prices and what affects them
The price comes down to a few factors:
- Whether a minimum applies
- The day of the week
- Access and parking
- How far we travel
Many fish and chip vans set a minimum, since getting the van there costs the same however many eat. We will tell you up front.
Details that help
Here’s what makes a quick, accurate quote possible:
- Rough numbers for adults and children
- Any dietary needs and allergies
- The address or venue name
- The date and when you’d like to eat
A detailed enquiry gets a more accurate quote: the parking spot, access, numbers and serving time. Photos of the spot and the way in help. When you are ready, use our quote form.
- Fried fresh to order in the van at your event
- Cod, haddock and chips, sausages and pies
- The van comes to you: homes, venues, workplaces and fields
- Served at the time you choose, from the hatch