East Sussex · England
Fish and Chip Van Hire for Telham events
Fish and chip van hire in Telham: fish and chips cooked fresh in the van, then handed over hot from the hatch.
- Birthday celebrations
- Company team days
- Festive get-togethers
Planning an event in Telham?
Fish and chip van hire in Telham, fried fresh
Rain doesn’t stop a fish and chip van, because the fryers are inside. That makes it a safe bet for British events. Whether it’s staff thank-you lunches and christmas parties, we can cook sausage and chips, pie and chips and haddock and chips and more.
Somewhere as small as Telham, a field, yard or drive is frequently the spot. Tell us about narrow lanes or long drives and we’ll plan for them, and firm ground matters more than anything. Everything we need comes with the van, and we pack up and leave the spot as we found it.
- Where
- Telham (TN33)
- County
- East Sussex
- From the fryer
- Cod and haddock, chips, sausages and pies
- On the side
- Mushy peas, curry sauce, gravy
- Price
- Quoted for your event
- Page updated
- 24 October 2026
Your questions about a fish and chip van in Telham
Is Telham close to London?
Roughly 49 miles from the centre of London, and well within our area.
Which station is closest to Telham?
Battle station, about 0.8 miles north-west of the centre.
Who clears up?
We take the van and everything with it, and leave the spot tidy. It helps to have bins near the hatch.
What food do you serve?
The classics: cod, haddock, chips, sausages and pies, with mushy peas, curry sauce and gravy. See the menu.
Can you serve children?
Children are very welcome. Tell us how many children, and we will plan for them.
What if we only have street parking?
Only where it’s legal to park, or with a council parking suspension or road closure. Ask your council early.
What if the weather’s bad?
We cook inside the van, so rain does not stop us. Guests will appreciate cover near the hatch.
How much space do you need?
Less than you might think: a hard surface or firm, dry grass, with a clear way in. If in doubt, send a picture.
The menu, dish by dish
Haddock and chips
Haddock is a little sweeter than cod, with a finer, firmer flake. It is the traditional favourite in Scotland and much of the north.
Gravy
Gravy brings a bit of warmth to the meal.
Prices and what affects them
Fish and chip van pricing is simple once we know the basics:
- Peak dates such as summer Saturdays
- Access and parking
- The menu and how many choices
- How far we travel
When you compare quotes, check what each one includes: service time, menu, travel, any minimum and VAT. Our quotes spell it all out.
What to tell us
For a quote, it helps to have:
- Access details such as gates and narrow lanes
- Where you’d like the van to go
- The date and time of the event
- Any dietary needs and allergies
Every quote is worked out for your event. Give us your date first, and we’ll check availability straight away.
Space, access and the venue
No two venues are the same, so we will ask about yours when you get in touch. In general, we need:
- A clear way in, with no low branches, cables or narrow gates
- Lighting nearby for evening events
- Flat, firm ground for the van
Not sure about the spot? Send us a photo and we will tell you honestly before booking.
On the menu in Telham
- Mushy peas
- Gravy
- Curry sauce
- Pie and chips
- Sausage and chips
- Cod and chips
- Chips
- Haddock and chips
Why choose a fish and chip van in Telham?
A plated meal needs a kitchen, more staff and usually costs more per head. A van needs only a level spot and permission to park. Travel, tolls and charges such as ULEZ can affect the price, so it helps to give us the postcode.
Why us?
- The classic sides: peas, curry sauce and gravy
- Nothing for you to cook or clear
- Fried fresh, not kept warm
- A van that becomes part of the event
Take a look at how we price or what a fish and chip van costs.
Planners, venues and businesses
Planning an event for a club, school or charity in Telham? A fish and chip van draws people in and almost everyone likes it. Give us the details and we’ll suggest how it could work.
Booking for a company? Tell us what your finance team needs, and we will explain how it works. We can work with your facilities team on access and timings.
Nearby places to Telham
Also in Telham
A fish and chip van in Telham: local details
Telham is about 4 miles north-west of Hastings, in East Sussex. We serve events at homes, halls, workplaces and venues in Telham and the surrounding area. We serve 289 places across East Sussex. We serve events right across the region, from Telham to Brighton (28 miles away).
Among the historic houses close to Telham are Durhamford Manor (2.4 miles north). Estates like these tend to have strict rules for vans, so check before you book. If you are organising a summer fair for a school like Claverham Community College, a chip van is a crowd-pleaser. The coast is within about 5 miles of Telham, so fish and chips feels right at home here. Sea breezes can be strong, so we think about where the queue will stand.
This part of East Sussex takes in TN33. That could mean an event at a home on Hastings Road, Starr's Green Lane and Starrs Mead, wherever the van can park. Main roads around Telham include the A2100, which makes travel to your event easy. If your venue is just outside Telham, we also cover Kent Street (2 miles east), Sedlescombe (2 miles north-east), Whatlington (2 miles north), Westfield (3 miles east) and Swaile's Green (4 miles north). Larger places within reach include Eastbourne (13 miles south-west), Hastings (4 miles south-east), Bexhill-on-Sea (5 miles south-west), Hailsham (12 miles west), St Leonards (4 miles south-east) and Polegate (13 miles south-west).
Other landmarks nearby include Hastings Castle (4.8 miles south-east) and Nortons Farm Museum (1.3 miles north-east). The countryside around Telham includes Senlac Hill and Church Wood and Robsack Wood.
- Local pubs include The Black Horse Public House (0.7 miles south-east)
Takeaway run or book a van?
Collecting fish and chips for a crowd yourself is possible, but it is hard work. By the time you’ve queued, paid and driven back, the batter has gone soft. With a van, it’s fried on the spot.
Ordering in from a local chip shop is an option. Large orders are slow, and the food cools in the bags. A van cooks in front of your guests instead.
Planning for dietary needs
A little planning makes sure everyone is looked after. Here’s how:
- Have bins and napkins near the hatch
- Tell us about vegetarian and vegan guests early
- Tell us about coeliac guests specifically
- Keep the menu short to keep the queue moving
You shouldn’t have to worry about the food on the day. We arrive in good time, set up, cook and serve, and stay in touch about any changes.
Tell people when the van opens, so they do not miss out.
How it works
We arrive on time, parks where we agreed. Once the oil is hot, the first portions go out right on schedule. By late September, sunset in Telham is around 7:00pm, and at Christmas it comes at about 3:55pm. For anything after that, plan lights for the queue.
- Get in touch with the basics: when, where and roughly how many.
- Show us where the van would go, and we will confirm it works.
- A week or so before, we confirm timings and numbers.
- The van rolls up, the hatch opens and the fryers get going for your guests.
- Last portion served, we tidy up and head off.
Preparing for the day
- Give us your final numbers and allergies
- Check the way in for low branches, cables and narrow gates
- Pick a flat, firm place for the van to park
Ask for a quote
Most quotes start with a few simple details: the date, where the van would park, roughly how many people and when you’d like to eat. To send them, use our quote form.
Read more
- Fried fresh to order in the van at your event
- Cod, haddock and chips, sausages and pies
- The van comes to you: homes, venues, workplaces and fields
- Served at the time you choose, from the hatch