Kent · England
Funeral and wake catering in Offham, Kent
Looking for fish and chips for the wake in Offham? The van comes to your venue, home or workplace and fry everything fresh on the spot.
- Remembering a loved one’s favourite food
- Gatherings after the committal
- Wakes at church halls and clubs
Book the van in Offham
How our funeral and wake catering works in Offham
Food is fried to order, so it is hot when people arrive, after a long, cold day. Whether it’s a tribute meal and gatherings after scattering ashes, we can cook haddock and chips, pie and chips and cod and chips.
For a wake near Offham, a farmhouse or village hall often works well. We keep the menu short: a few classics done properly keeps the food fresh and the queue moving.
Wakes in Offham: venues and practical details
Offham is about 7 miles west of Maidstone, in Kent. For wakes in Offham, we plan around your venue and timings: a quote, a parking spot and fresh frying on the day. We take the van to 922 places in Kent. Our bookings stretch from Offham to London (25 miles away).
Families holding a service at Church of St Michael often gather afterwards at a nearby hall, where the van can park.
For wakes in ME19, we just need to know where the van can park and a serving time. Streets in the area include Church Road, Pepingstraw Close and Teston Road, and the van can serve a wake on any of them with a suitable parking spot. Nearby, we also serve wakes in Wrotham Heath (1 mile west), Comp (2 miles west), Kent Street (2 miles south), New Pound (2 miles south) and Herne Pound (2 miles south). Within a short drive, we also cover Maidstone (7 miles east), Dartford (12 miles north-west), Sevenoaks (8 miles west), Royal Tunbridge Wells (12 miles south-west), Gravesend (10 miles north) and Tonbridge (8 miles south-west).
Nearby you’ll also find Leybourne Castle (2.2 miles north-east) and Maidstone Hospital (4.8 miles east).
- Local pubs include King's Arms Public House (within half a mile south-west)
Common questions in Offham
Could you trade in Manor Park Country Park?
Only if the landowner, generally the council, allows it. Check with them first.
Is Offham close to London?
About 25 miles from central London, and we cover it as standard.
Do you come to Offham?
Yes. We take the van across London and the South East, and Offham is within our area and the rest of Kent. For a quote, use our quote form.
What food do you serve?
The classics: cod or haddock and chips, sausages and pies, with mushy peas, curry sauce and gravy. See the menu.
Do you have a kids’ option?
Children are very welcome. Tell us how many children, and we will plan for them.
Can someone else arrange it?
Yes, that’s common.
What if timings change?
We allow for it. We will agree a serving time and stay flexible.
What does it cost to hire the van?
It depends on numbers, the menu, how long we serve and travel. Send us the details for a quote.
How it works
Serving is straightforward: everything is handed over hot from the hatch, and people can eat where they like. Afterwards we pack up. Summer evenings in Offham stay light until about 9:20pm, while winter afternoons darken by about 3:50pm, so plan lighting near the door.
- First, the plan: what, where and what time.
- You hear back on the date and the price.
- The van’s spot is fixed in advance, and how it gets in.
- On the day, everything is cooked to order, so nothing sits in a hot cabinet.
- The pitch is left tidy when we go.
Before we arrive
- Confirm numbers and dietary needs before the day
- Clear the route for the van
- Let us know who to talk to on the day
Ask for a quote
Getting a quote is simple: share your date, address, rough numbers and when you’d like to eat. We’ll come back with a clear quote.
Related guides
Planners, venues and businesses
If you are booking for a business, tell us how you’d like to handle the booking and payment, and we will explain how it works. We can work with your facilities team on access and timings.
For big groups, the service window matters, so we can plan service to match. Sending people up in groups helps.
Diets, allergies and planning
Most events have a few guests with dietary needs. To plan for them:
- Name a contact for the day who isn’t close family
- Ask the venue about the van
- Use the funeral director’s experience on numbers
- Ensure older relatives can sit
We arrive in good time and park discreetly before guests return from the service.
A table of photos helps people talk.
A closer look at the menu
Cod and chips
Cod has big, soft white flakes and a mild flavour, and it’s what most people in the south ask for. It is battered and fried to order, so it’s crisp when it reaches you.
Pie and chips
Pie and chips is hearty and filling, and it is especially welcome on a cold day.
Perfect for your wake in Offham
It can be a fitting tribute.
We are booked for all kinds of occasions in Offham and nearby. Popular bookings include:
- Pub wakes
- Family gatherings after a burial or cremation
- Wakes at home
- Gatherings after scattering ashes
For anyone coming to the funeral by train, West Malling station, about 1.9 miles east, is the nearest station.
What your quote should include
- How long service runs, and what happens if you overrun
- Any travel, parking or access charges
- How late numbers can change
- The minimum number of meals or minimum spend
Prices and what affects them
There are no hidden charges: the quote reflects:
- The minimum booking
- Cod, haddock or both
- How far we travel
- Service time
Many fish and chip vans set a minimum, because the van, fuel and travel cost the same for a small group. Ask us what applies to your wake.
What to tell us
Good planning starts with a few facts. Try to include:
- The date and when you’d like to eat
- A photo of the parking spot
- Access details such as gates and narrow lanes
- Where the van would park
Planning fish and chips for the wake in Offham? Send us the details and we will reply with a clear price. To get in touch, fill in our quote form.
DIY versus a fish and chip van
Not sure whether to order in or book a van? Think about numbers, timing and how hot you want the food. We’re happy to send a quote so you can compare.
For a small group, making your own food can work. For bigger numbers, a van makes life easier, and you get to enjoy the day.
Before you choose a spot
The van has to be able to get in and park safely, and a little planning goes a long way. These are the things we check:
- A lit spot if service runs after dark
- A route in without tight gates or low branches
- A spot near your guests
If in doubt, send us a picture of the spot and we will advise before booking.
What we serve
- Gravy
- Haddock and chips
- Sausage and chips
- Pie and chips
- Mushy peas
- Cod and chips
Nearby places to Offham
What else we do in Offham
- Fried fresh to order in the van at your event
- Cod, haddock and chips, sausages and pies
- The van comes to you: homes, venues, workplaces and fields
- Served at the time you choose, from the hatch