East Sussex · England
Funeral and Wake Catering for Telscombe Cliffs events
Fried to order and served hot: fish and chips for the wake in Telscombe Cliffs and the surrounding area.
- Gatherings after scattering ashes
- Wakes at home
- A favourite meal in someone’s memory
Book the van in Telscombe Cliffs
Funeral and wake catering in Telscombe Cliffs, cooked to order
Services frequently run over, and we’ll work around the service and the family. For family gatherings after a burial or cremation and wakes at home, we can cook gravy, pie and chips and haddock and chips for your guests.
In Telscombe Cliffs, the hall or the family home is a natural choice. Let us know where the van can go. We serve from the hatch, so every portion is hot, and service is quick once we’re up and running.
- Area
- Telscombe Cliffs (BN10)
- County
- East Sussex
- Menu
- Cod, haddock, chips, sausages, pies
- On the side
- Curry sauce, mushy peas and gravy
- Price
- Contact us for a quote
- Last updated
- 24 October 2026
What affects the price in Telscombe Cliffs
We will give you a clear quote. The main things that affect it are:
- Numbers
- The date and time of year
- Parking and the way in
- The menu and how many choices
A chip van often compares well with a plated meal, as there is no kitchen to hire and nothing to wash up. We will send you a quote.
Getting an accurate quote
You don’t need every detail fixed to get a quote, but it helps to know:
- Your date and serving time
- Access details such as gates and narrow lanes
- Where you’d like the van to go
- Any dietary needs and allergies
Each quote is put together for your wake. Give us your date first, and we’ll check availability straight away.
About the food
Pie and chips
Pie and chips gives people a filling alternative to fish.
Cod and chips
Cod has big, soft white flakes and a mild flavour, and it is the favourite in much of the south. We batter it and fry it to order, so it’s crisp when it reaches you.
Towns and villages near Telscombe Cliffs
More for events in Telscombe Cliffs
What the van needs
We’ll agree the van’s spot with you before the day. A good spot ticks these boxes:
- Flat, firm ground for the van
- A lit spot if service runs after dark
- A spot near your guests
Not sure about the spot? Send us a picture and we will tell you honestly before booking.
Popular choices
- Haddock and chips
- Gravy
- Cod and chips
- Mushy peas
- Pie and chips
- Sausage and chips
Telscombe Cliffs: your questions answered
Is Telscombe Cliffs close to London?
About 49 miles from central London, and well within our area.
Do you come to venues in the South Downs National Park?
Yes. Some venues there have rules about vehicles and ground, so check with yours. We will work to whatever the site needs.
How do we estimate numbers?
It’s hard to know, so a rough number is fine. Funeral directors can advise from experience.
Is the food cooked at the event?
Yes. Everything is fried fresh in the van, and serve straight from the hatch.
What do we need to supply?
Tell us what’s available at the site in your enquiry, and we will confirm what we need.
How do you handle allergies?
We provide allergen information for everything we serve. Fish and gluten are the main ones in battered fish. Send us any allergies in writing.
Is there a non-fish option?
Sausage and chips and pie and chips are on the menu. Let us know about any other dietary needs and we’ll be honest about what’s possible.
Where do you take the van?
We cover London and the South East, East Sussex included. Find your area.
A fish and chip van or other catering?
Compared with a buffet, fish and chips is hot and simple, and there is less waste when numbers are uncertain. Most vans have a minimum charge, since getting the van there costs the same however many eat. Ask us what applies to your wake.
Why Telscombe Cliffs hosts choose us
- The classic sides: peas, curry sauce and gravy
- Events in Telscombe Cliffs and across East Sussex
- Served hot, straight from the hatch
- A clear quote before you book
Read how we price and the cost guide.
Working with your venue
Venues often have their own rules about outside caterers and vehicles: where a van can park, access times and the paperwork they want. Send us your venue’s requirements and we will confirm what we can provide.
If your event is in a public place, such as a park or a street, check what permission you need first. Ask the council or landowner early.
DIY versus a fish and chip van
Collecting fish and chips for a crowd yourself is possible, but it is hard work. By the time you’ve queued, paid and driven back, the batter has gone soft. A van fries it right there, so it’s crisp.
Ordering in from a local chip shop is an option. The problem is timing: big orders take a long time, and the food is cooling while it travels. A van solves that by cooking on site.
Wakes in Telscombe Cliffs: venues and practical details
Telscombe Cliffs is about 3 miles west of Newhaven, in East Sussex. We park up at homes, halls, workplaces and venues in Telscombe Cliffs and nearby villages. We cover all 289 towns and villages in East Sussex. You can also see our page for Brighton, about 6 miles away.
If relatives are coming by rail, the nearest station is Newhaven Town station, about 2.9 miles east. Telscombe Cliffs is within about 6 miles of the South Downs National Park; tell us about access if the wake is somewhere rural. The coast is within about 6 miles of Telscombe Cliffs.
Wakes anywhere in BN10 start with a parking spot for the van and roughly how many guests. That could mean a wake at a home on Park Avenue, Ambleside Avenue and Park View Rise or the roads around them, wherever the van can park. Close by, we cover wakes in Telscombe (1 mile north), Peacehaven (1 mile east), East Saltdean (1 mile west), Saltdean (1 mile west) and Piddinghoe (2 miles east). Further out, we also take the van to Eastbourne (13 miles east), Seaford (5 miles east), Lewes (5 miles north), Hailsham (12 miles east), Uckfield (13 miles north-east) and Newhaven (3 miles east).
Well-known places in the area include Planet Earth Museum (2.8 miles east) and Chailey Heritage Marine Hospital (3.7 miles east). Green spaces nearby include Itford Hill and Beacon Hill Local Nature Reserve.
- Schools near Telscombe Cliffs include Peacehaven Community School (0.6 miles east)
- Nearby, you’ll find Smugglers Rest pub (0.6 miles west)
Occasions we serve in Telscombe Cliffs
There’s little waste, because food is cooked to order.
Almost any gathering works with a fish and chip van. People in Telscombe Cliffs book the van for occasions like:
- Family gatherings after a burial or cremation
- A wake at the family home
- Anniversary memorials
- Life celebrations
If the funeral is at a church such as Ascension Church, a hall or home nearby keeps the journey to the wake short.
What to look for in a quote
- Whether travel is included
- How much space the van takes up
- The deadline for final numbers
- The cancellation terms
What happens on the day
There’s very little for you to do on the day: point us to the spot and get on with your wake. We handle the cooking and serving. In autumn and winter, it is dark early in Telscombe Cliffs; ensure older guests have a well-lit route to the van.
- First, tell us about your wake.
- You get an availability check and a clear quote.
- We agree timings, access and the parking spot.
- On the day, we park up and fry fresh for family and friends.
- We serve from the hatch, then leave the pitch tidy.
Before we arrive
- Confirm the van is allowed on site
- Plan where the queue will stand
- Pick a flat, firm place for the van to park
Ask for a quote
Still finalising the details? No problem: give us a rough idea and the date, and we’ll firm it up nearer the time. Start when you’re ready: fill in our quote form.
Planning help
- Fried fresh to order in the van at your event
- Cod, haddock and chips, sausages and pies
- The van comes to you: homes, venues, workplaces and fields
- Served at the time you choose, from the hatch